Real talk…
I can honestly say I have many flaws and I see my mistakes are no longer mistakes it’s a choice. Mistakes are only mistakes if you learned from them and apparently I haven’t. I can’t blame anyone but myself for my actions and I understand what I’m going through was all on me. Consequences like these are too much for me handle but there’s nothing I can do because my decisions brought me to this point. I just have to deal with it and I’m ok with that. No matter how much and how long I have to go through feeling like this I know that it’s for the better, not for me but for them. To witness loss of relationships that I once adore, to notice a person in the mirror I dislike very much and to know I will lose everything if I continue on with this decision but yet do nothing to change that are overwhelming but hey that’s my life. I’m not ok with it but for every choice I make in my life I feel like it’ll lead to something bad either for me or someone I care about. I find myself running back to the situation that broke me, that made me lose all the good I once had but for some reason I haven’t had the strength to leave. To be honest change scares me. Not knowing what will happen frightens me.
I’m sorry for all the dissappointments I’ve cause in other’s eyes. I’m sorry the time I wasted when I shared the words that weren’t close to how I felt. I’m sorry for all the threats and unwanted stress caused by me. I’m sorry for the depression and unhappiness I caused in lives that don’t deserve it. I just had to let those who I owe an apology to know how deeply sorry I am. I can’t take back the things I’ve done and they went through but all I can do now is try to prevent this from continuing on. Trust me no matter what it takes for me to do, I’ll do it. Even though it won’t compare to what you went through.
